I was tasked with giving a talk on ‘Setting Boundaries when working from home’ to my business network; having worked from home for 19 years I am a good fit for the subject. Since my original talk we have all had our lives turned upside-down by adjusting to dealing with the COVID-19 outbreak, so I though it worth posting as a blog. I’ve updated this post in 2021 just to add some more information.
People choose to work from home for a variety of reasons, including economic saving and flexibility. Some of us have just been thrown into it at short notice by being asked to work from home by our companies, or the government. Whatever the circumstances, we need to set boundaries to guard our valuable work time and to protect our home life and relationships.
Since the beginning of this week (16th March 2020) I am learning to share my home during the day, so both of us can work in a focused way – get the space, privacy and bandwidth we need.
I am sharing some thoughts and theories; I hope it proves helpful.
It works both ways
Our work life bleeds into our home life and our home life bleeds into our work life. I have worked from home both with and without family there – I have found I am much more disciplined with family at home my weakness is forgetting to stop at the end of the day!
If you have chosen to work in a flexible way you may have intended it to dovetail nicely with family life but are beginning to find that the overlap is more than you expected; work is overtaking your personal space, or family activity is not allowing you to stay focused.
Setting boundaries: It’s up to you!
- It is you that is responsible for your own working needs
- Setting the boundaries is for you to do
- Set your expectations for others
- Do it with intention
When you are sharing your home with partners, flatmates, children or guests it is important that you communicate well what you expect from others, or how you expect to work together so you all get the space you need.
Work out first what it is you need and what others around you need.
- Do you need quiet from 10 – noon?
- Does a door shut mean ‘do not enter’.
- If two of you need quiet and private space do you need a schedule?
- Do you sometimes need the full strength of the internet bandwidth for a conference meeting?
Once you are clear on your boundaries it is important to communicate well and with intention. Not with passing comments outside the bathroom or while cooking dinner, not with passive aggressive comments but clearly state that we need to relook at my needs and your needs.
It is also important that your clients know when you are available to them.
- Do you like to set up all your calls in advance?
- Do you have hours that are strictly for work?
- Are you happy to take pre-arranged calls outside of your normal working hours?
- Do you have days when you don’t schedule meetings (face to face or virtual).
You perhaps don’t need to be explicit with every new client but rather let them know what your boundaries are when you have requests that don’t work for you. We can, of course, all make exceptions when needed to ensure we are meeting our clients’ needs too.
Set expectations for yourself
- This is also up to you!
- Decide what you expect of yourself with intention
- Control distractions
- Notice when you work best on different tasks
What do you expect from yourself – this is also up to you! Decide what you expect from yourself and again, do it with intention by making a plan.
Do you set your working times each day? Have you set out your default diary? These can be shifted but you start each week / month with an outline of what you are doing on particular days such as admin days or mornings, client work days etc.
Controlling distractions is a good way of setting boundaries. For example, when you need to do focused work, turn off your email and phone notifications. Emails do not have to be pushed to your phone – I get mine when I am ready. Clients sometimes like to send their work through in the evenings or weekends – that’s fine, but I choose when I am ready to see it and be ‘at work’.
Workspace
Carving out a dedicated workspace between you and the rest of your home is so important, but it might take different forms and shapes in our homes. It may be a desk in the corner of another room. It could be the dining / kitchen table. Preferably it should be a space where there is a door you can shut when needed.
I am fortunate enough to have a dedicated desk, the room, however, has shared purpose so ensuring I can close the door and be private when I need to has to be negotiated, diarised and thought through in advance. If its mine for the morning the door closed means ‘do not disturb’. It is essential to me to be able to walk away from my desk and shut computers down at the end of the day. During the COVID epidemic there has had to be a lot more desk / table sharing so each day has to be talked through.
If you use the dining table to work on be disciplined by clearing off the dishes during your work time, and equally take lap-tops, devices and papers off during mealtimes. Invest in storage boxes that can be quickly packed away and unpacked.
There are lots of pictures and examples on the internet of peoples’ ingenious spaces. Here are a couple on Pinterest:
Office in a cupboard
Office in an alcove
Make sure that your workspace is set up well, is your chair good and comfortable, are your computer screen and keyboard at the right height. You don’t need fancy or expensive kit but changing a few things could be beneficial. I use an ergonomic mouse which really helps repetitive strain in my shoulder. I have recently brought a desk platform so I can convert between sitting and standing. Placing your lap-top on a pile of books with a separate keyboard can stop you hunching over. Sometimes just changing position or chair can give your body the break it needs.
Click here for a guide to avoiding back pain when working from home from Keheren Therapy.
Click here for a guide from The Garage Studio about choosing the right chair and position.
Rituals
Daily rituals are really beneficial for your brain shift.
- Start-up rituals – important to clear our minds and space
- Shut-down – parking your work stresses and to-dos until the next day
- Moving from one task to another
Ambling around the house in your pyjamas hoping someone will make you sit in front of your computer is not a committed ritual!
I have a great start up ritual – I begin my day with a walk, do a couple of tasks round the house and then to my desk for the same time each day.
My shut down ritual is not so good. I know the theory; clear my desk, write a to-do list for the next day (so I am not carrying stuff around in my head). It’s just that last hour of the day goes so quickly I find myself going past my intended work time.
Moving from one task to another can be tricky. I find it hard to shift from logical to creative but can shift easily the other way – I take a walk and it works!
It could be since our ‘stay at home’ rule that you have had to change your rituals to suit having your family still in the house or that you can’t go for an early morning walk. Accepting that a change will have to happen is key to then finding a new routine to get to your desk.
I have found the book Atomic Habits by James Clear really useful. He tells us what we need to change our habits / routines by using our existing framework or making small changes, as small as 1% everyday.
Click here to order Atomic Habits from your local bookshop
Click here to watch James Clear
Click here for James Clear’s website
Organise childcare / petcare
Most important with children is to find sometime when they are not your responsibility. As mentioned, this post started as a talk given before the COVID -19 outbreak here in the UK so finding childcare is a lot harder if you are isolating or if grandparents are your go-to childcare.
Swapping with other parents in the same situation is one option, each of you can get some concentrated work time. If both parents are at home trying to work, it is probably fairest to share the childcare burden. There are plenty of teachers now advertising and posting that they are available for online tutoring – a great way for older children to get help and give you a short break. I am sure we’ve all seen ‘BBC Dad’ from last year, but this is probably something we may all have to get more used to click here for a giggle.
Children do not thrive when they know you are not with them mentally, and you do not do your best work if you are trying to entertain them. If they are older you can set boundaries about when you need quiet and the door needs to remain shut. Someone in my network with young children told me they made a telephone hat with their children, when she needs to make a phone call she wears it and they have to entertain themselves, the reward is they get to play with toys in a special box. I’m sure other parents have great ideas too, ask around your network.
Pets can also be demanding, if you are in a meeting and distracted by getting back for the dog it will not benefit you. Use dog walkers or share your dog through an online pet share (not best advised to share during the pandemic!).
Cats on keyboards is another matter! This is when being able to close a door is handy.
Look after yourself
Working on your own for long periods of time can be challenging and affect your concentration levels and focus. It’s good to break up your time, one of the methods that is popular is the Pomodoro Technique work for 25 minutes and then break for 5, repeat three times more and take a longer break. This pattern gives a sense of achieving tasks and structure. There are apps available to help you using this technique for desktops, laptops and smart phones.
Click here to find out more about the Pomodoro Technique from its creator Francesco Cirillo.
It is always best to work on tasks at the right time of day, typically most of us will set out a list of to-dos first thing and check emails. Some people find they work best on admin early or late in the afternoon.
It goes without saying that it can be isolating so staying connected with others, whether these are colleagues, fellow home-workers or friends is really helpful. Ensure you talk to at least one person per day. You could find someone who also works from home to buddy up with perhaps talking through your ideas or problems. Pre COVID-19 I would find an early walk in the park with a fellow member of my business network a great way to share our ideas or pain points. Networking groups are great for providing support, the added bonus is they sometimes bring you business too!
Do not under-estimate the need to stay connected.
Setting boundaries checklist
- Set boundaries with what you expect from others
- Set boundaries with what you expect from yourself
- Define your workspace
- Rituals
- Organise childcare / pet care
- Look after yourself
I would really like to hear if you have ideas for daily rituals that work for you email: info@kitewebsites.co.uk